As If To Say I Hate Daylight

by Bellows

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
I spilled my guys last night sitting on the steps by the dark and foggy light I felt just like a man but then I felt just like a goose out there on the chase feeling his neck already loose am I? or was I? because I came on so fresh that my chloroform congealed in my heart, cold as a fridge I felt just like a man but then I felt just like your dad waiting on the couch cause you did something so bad am I? or was I? because I warmed your blood like a cunning running bath but after soap was sud there wasn't any man and there wasn't any goose to be out on the chase feeling his neck already loose am I? or was I? because I
2.
I opened my eyes and I screamed at the skies when I crowned out to see what was outside of your body I was wet with your insides as I crawled around the light and they cut us apart with something so sharp I was naked when you washed me off and you wrapped me in a cloth it was one you got from somebody your dad loved once and i kept it until i left it and with it I grew up fine but one day it had to be left behind
3.
Uh Oh! 03:50
as if to say I hate daylight we closed off the curtains to the skies and I pinched shut the lids to your eyes and with a kiss on the lips we were gone in the morning as if to say I welcome hunger we locked ourselves in every night and held open the lids to our eyes and with a kiss on the lips we were safe til the morning light you are such a brain but you are so angry you are such a heart but you are so angry and when you pushed my ears into the ground it was only you that heard our settling sound and with a kiss on the lips we climbed out into the morning
4.
living by the river and the mountains tall living like the saint in the paint on your wall feels so good i am not your brother i am not your mom i am not your dad or your unborn son i am your friend do you ever think about the nights when i copied your expressions til we both fell quiet? its cause I was drunk and I'm sorry living by the river where the trees are high floating like a saint like the paint above your eyes but you don't wear that anymore i am not your brother i am not your mom i am not your dad or your unborn son i am your friend do you ever think about the afternoons we pasted them and placed them between the moon and the sky cause that's like being high though I don't know living by the river where the kids looks cool flying like a saint through the trees i looked only once but I still felt the wiser you are not my brother you are not my mom you are not my dad or my son you are my friend do you ever think about the nights when I came into your body from a place so high and your arms would shake I'm living in your bedroom living inside living like a saint in the rain catching death i reflected your expression but i didn't express the west coast attitude my mother confessed after years of lying kindly
5.
I'm wider than I used to be washed whiter than I used to be and you bow to the champion cause that's all that you learned from love they peaced you out of new york then and took upon your champion and you bow to that billow now that chased the grey out of your cloud what blew the roof off of your home? and the girls attacked in smaller hordes but bearing on your every word and bowing down before your legs swallowed every word you said and they chased you out of new york then and stole away your champion and bowing to a love gone by that glued the blue upon your eyes what blew the windows through the panes? what blew the windows through the panes? what blew the door down to the ground? what blew the roof off of your home?
6.
7.
did you enter the world kicking and screaming? did you grow from a girl into a little boy with long brown hair and eyes that stare did you bruise your knees and spend the day watching TV? did you sprout like a tree out of someone's lawn to take their stuff when they're dead and gone? did you scream a name out into your darkroom did somebody's face come to chase away the beasts from your outer space? did you come to be out among the lights and all the sounds? did it come to be rough and painful as can be? was it one time or two times or three that you'd say in a cold way that is not me did you enter the world spitting and biting? did you grow from a girl into a little boy with short brown hair and eyes that stare did you turn around when you heard them calling or say you're not coming down ever again and get sent to bed cause you lost your head did you see the light from the plug in the bathroom did you doubt your sight did you expect you'd fall right out into the night
8.
Yanguang 03:55
The world was bright living in the sunlight and it washed me white when I loomed upon my own heights do we write down our love and read it back to ourselves? or do we wake up with nothing else to retell do I spill my chloroform from out my thighs and start to hear the buzzing flies and waft around the room at night with bruises growing through my insides and dripping flesh down through my thighs I take a breath with empty mind and see you there with empty eyes and eat you up with empty insides but through the hollow stinking bones there shines sunlight bravery is not showing off the arms I've got or staring at the sun til my eyes fall out my front its reaching out my hand without a light to guide me in in eighty years we die and twenty of them's passed us by
9.
do you hear when I walk on the floor? when I listen for kissin I'm lickin my sores did you see how I hung on the wall? was my skin framing portraits held tiny or tall? day comes late and I shake your sleeping bones dry do you see how I run for the door? and at once think my touching is not ours anymore so I barked at what shook from the ceiling but caved in my lungs when I tried to sing day comes late and I shake your sleeping bones dry if my art could not be fixing hearts was it tearing your sleeping skin apart? patiently walk with me wait for me wait for me patiently walk with me come with me come with me will I be your thorn and crown if you put your finger down? your spine crawls up like calvary and crosses mine with no spite will I be deeper than you when our waves hit the shore? couldn't you capture my fins in your net and drag me down with my crown? at the bottom of the sea, crawling around gracelessly will I wait patiently, patiently? did you see when I opened the blinds?
10.
You are Not 02:30
i braved the never ending winter cause i could not be a man when i lifted the blinds to show the light it wasn't with my own hands my windows were left open and i stuffed them with parts of you but when my walls were burst your name was cursed and nothing was left to be and i said you are not the one who will come and save me you are just a boy you are just a baby you won't swoop in with capes and guns and come and save me you are just a boy you are just a baby you won't fly in the night and come and save me you are just a boy you are just a baby you are not the one who will come and save me you are just a boy you are just a baby
11.
a light shown in through broken beams sewing up these seams that opened caustically seeing as you see seeing as you see when i was a kid when i was a kid when i was a kid i wasn't cold as this i was done with plastic light shining through the mirror in her room at night seeing through your sights seeing through your sights when i was in love when i was asleep and thought of only love you were the focus of when you thought of sex as something cool nothing really mattered but the parts on you seeing through your heart way before we start feeling like a man feeling like a man feeling like a boy when i turn and run i was done with plastic light sifting through your thoughts in my mirror at night seeing through your sights seeing through your sights and there's nothing else to me there's nothing else to me there's nothing else to me there's nothing else to me
12.
I am building a house but it has no salt for melting the outside I am laying these floors to splint me with splinters and line me with turpentine cause these were days when I couldn't think to make it another way I am building a house but it has no ceiling or attic or basement I am painting the walls with dirt from by fingers and spit up from old loves cause these were nights when I couldn't think to make it another way I am building a house and life will be quiet with no interruptions I am heating the rooms when I'm bending to please you with mouth open wide and something on the riser's rotting and something on the walls is peeling when you are in my insides and you are in my insides I am screaming a name cause I couldn't think to say in another way

about

Bellows began in late 2010 as my recording project--I am Oliver Kalb. I recorded "As If To Say I Hate Daylight", the first Bellows record, throughout Spring 2011 and put it out myself in August of that year. The album is recorded using one microphone, using natural and acoustic sounds that came out of the woodwork of the floor in my house. "Daylight" is an album about freezing to death and thawing the ice to be summoned back into existence

Bellows is a band now -- this is what we sound like lately, www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlpZCKYLvZk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtNwlLkB0z0
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GCcdmgAh-8


"A delicate sound, a warm embrace... bursts of sharp sensation penetrate the cozy, experimental folk. I'm guessing you'll like Bellows" - Knox Road

"It doesn't sound like it was recorded underwater with your Dad's old camcorder like some "Lofi" artists... Songs are sung low and almost in a mumble, the instruments utilize natural acoustics and reverb, the words are important and tell the tale of life with clever wordplay, very Antifolk. Every element of the songs presented is intimate (even when distant), especially the vocal which in songs like "Tiny or Tall?" stays subtle and personal while the production seems to breathe with growth and evolution." - Cincinnati Examiner

"The band starts most songs off on a pretty standard foot with sweet hooks, melodies, and all the trimmings -- then switch gears about 3/4 of the way through, over filling the composition with more tracks, more kinds of instruments, and sometimes sets the whole shebang at a wobbly, loping pace. Is the off tempo instrumentation an accident of recording, or intentional? There are definitely some gems here, and the maximalist funkiness will give you something to chew over." - QRO Magazine

"Its a pretty awesome lo-fi pop thing" - Effort is Hard

"When I listen to Bellows' As If To Say I Hate Daylight, I think New England Transcendentalism. The album is Sufjan Stevens by way of Thoreau, with delicate verses atop intricate guitar, punctuated by wild yelps that cry out to the forest sky. The delivery channels the intimacy of Elliott Smith, but without Smith’s overbearing sorrow. You detect neither anger at the past nor anxiety about the future. Instead, you get the wonder of the now. The miracle that is birth, of love in relationships, of friendship among peers where no one else has rank or title over the other. Of the difficult process that is growing into manhood... The album ends with the song “I Am Building a House.” Because every rebel eventually realizes the need to construct his own institution, his own home. And so life experiences become the brick and cement which we construct around ourselves. Yet, the house is built to fall. Salt is not applied to the foundation. Eventually ice will develop and it will all collapse. And then you will be free. When more people tear down the walls that separate them from one another, then true friendships can be had, true relationships experienced. God in the Now. Transcendence." - Public Sounds

Originally released in August 2011, this album was reissued and remastered for Burst and Bloom, a small New England record label.

credits

released August 12, 2011

Gabby Smith (eskimeaux), Felix Walworth (Told Slant), Henry Crawford (Small Wonder)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bellows Brooklyn, New York

Bellows is the bedroom recording project of songwriter and producer Oliver Kalb.

booking:
ghorbal@apa-agency.com

press:
will@topshelfrecords.com

other questions / my actual email: bellows.mail@gmail.com
... more

contact / help

Contact Bellows

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Bellows recommends:

If you like Bellows, you may also like: