Blue Breath

by Bellows

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    "Blue Breath" on beautiful off-white cassette tapes from Dead Labour. This release looks really great, the tapes are printed on and the J-Card has a really nice matte finish.

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The first ever pressing of Blue Breath on vinyl! It's a 12" LP on thick white vinyl - beautifully remastered for vinyl - a first-edition run of 500 on Dead Labour.

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1.
a prayer for an open wound to dignify existing in its air we live for a second only and then we're claimed by the atmosphere a prayer for a life not lived to dignify screaming til you can't anymore so ashamed of the love you carry the crowded rooms where you speak the dark side of your heart what if like geese we could migrate, migrate to a place no one follows? wish I could speak what's inside me always I am a bird with a wing of stone I remember when we were small -- It's dark in this cave and we grow without eyes -- But your voice is brave and warm and though we trip and fall we come out on the other side alive and what a calm feeling! It's like we're dressed up warm cause it's nearing night in the part of your voice that broke when you called me on the telephone and told me that last night grandma died what if like geese we could migrate, migrate to a place no one follows? wish I could speak what's inside me always I am a bird with a wing of stone dissipate with the flesh you tainted speak loud if you're doing it now you are alone and there's no one listening I am a bird with a wing of stone so sorry you don't bleed right, I'm so sorry you don't bleed right so sorry you don't bleed right, I'm so sorry you don't bleed right so sorry you don't bleed right, I'm so sorry you don't bleed right so sorry you don't bleed right, I'm so sorry you don't bleed right and who are you in the back of this stereo? it's what I want to hear until I'm very old we cannot slow the burn on your cigarette we can't stop time for a minute or slow the rate of your pulse on your beating heart ... if we didn't have to joke to know who we are ... and if a screaming voice is all you are speak loud if you've ceased to be at all! but what if like geese we could migrate, migrate to a place no one follows -- oooooohhhhhh what if like geese we could migrate, migrate to a place no one follows wish I could speak what's inside me always I am a runner but with bones all broken
2.
We are not the ones who fear your bite Your eyes are full of fire My teeth are white A desert in your heart miles wide How many tried to reach the other side? I was not the one who lost control The January night I broke your heart I barely bent my own on the bench in the park And you said you had known from the start That one of us would change by night one of us would change by night one of us would change by night one of us would change by night and have you got the will to survive? have you got the will to survive? have you got the will to survive? have you got the will to survive? In this bed your clothes on the ground - the lampshade the deafening silent sound your breast out of the cover while you sleep who is this watching while you sleep? what is this terror in this house sleeping under the floorboards? what's its name? what's its name? what's its name? what's its name? we are not the ones who fear your bite and although we live this pale bitter, wicked, jealous stupid, false with dirty feathers empty broken, small! we want to live them all!
3.
kicked on the playground, five years old now he is faithful, playful, bold - right? raced to the lunch line, fifth one on everyone eats then everyone's gone - right? you and your mom, you are beckoning back of the car and we all pile in born as a boy he is born in sin but he grows til he knows he can stand and sing: blue breath, rosy death - I choose you See me patiently waiting for you? They say, "answer the phone for your mom! she tries never to do any harm to you" Take my hand and we sneak outside You are scared though you know it's rain A dog is still there barking Mom never finished parking A hose that could feed a car -- like the dream that you come from space! But soon you'll be waking, day will be breaking There you cry Lost in the minimart Hide in the bathroom with all the lights off Breaks my heart to lose it in memory Craziest devotion, look and you turn to stone Era of losing skin, showing up late just to make you interested Walls - leaning on the toilet seat Making diamonds of dreams that don't come to me Sharp - a story with an arc Toting bottles in the park And we show up after dark when it's so late All I ever really tried to do was to be like the dude that would be with you But it's hard losing all your baby teeth making jewels of dreams that don't come to me Era of Losing Cause - trying to find a place we can gather moss sssssssigh... A wish that he could kill with his eyeball A wish that he could feel with his soul A wish that he could bleed all over the ground for his friends til he's done with it all The dirt from the hole you are buried A rose there will grow, as we know The breath that you take in the nighttime blows from your lips before you can swallow Blue breath, rosy death - I choose you See me facelessly roaring at you? They say, "answer the phone for your mom! she tries never to do any harm to you" Blue breath, rosy death - choose you Dig deep, you will be here with me too One less step on the stairs in the dark I try never to do any harm to you
4.
White Sheet 02:43
all your friends will say that you are the biggest faker when you decide to say that you are a life taker what do you hear when the phone rings? A white sheet on old things and we all sing - I won't shake your hand, I don't wanna be an earth-quaker I won't shake your hand, I don't wanna be a heart-breaker ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah ah Wait! I think someone's at the door... I know it's not your mother Wide old world in store But it's just for someone other what do you hear when the phone rings? a new ghost for bad dreams and we all sing - I won't shake your hand, I don't wanna be a god-fearer I won't shake your hand, I don't ever wanna get nearer ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah. ah ah ah ah ah ah I used to love to feel this way final breath breathing I used to love to feel this way final hurt coming ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah. ah ah ah ah ah ah
5.
Believe it! 01:53
Believe it like a miracle that existence is a lie that you must say as you look into my eyes and kiss me once and dig your grave and die Collecting up your matter, then just bursting out some notes and you should cry as you're looking at my toes and leave this bar and take the train alone I forgot what I was saying and just stopped to crack a smile at you and blush like I'm seventeen years old about as much life as we might ever know it's just like when you're sleeping, or like softly falling snow what you can hear as you're walking out the door when no one knows you anymore no one knows you anymore
6.
hate yourself and give me more of you I want to climb inside your eyes break your heart when no one's listening and sleep alone tonight hate yourself and give me more of you I want to climb inside your eyes fall apart when no one's watching you and sleep deep
7.
Kinderhook creek, buried in sand Let's pretend it's a day on the beach My brother's pulled under Swept away by the strength of the stream And though you pulled me from a well It's like the drowning stayed in my place And an empty part of the water contains a new kind of space when it seemed like my heart was a candle when it seemed like my heart was a moon our stomachs had never been closer but i was ten thousand miles from you and the good things were made of a burning and the good things were made like a tide and we run away from the water but it licks our toes all the time and i follow you down to the subway and i follow your shadow all day and i follow your heart and its beating like i follow its melting away something in these thoughts was buried in sand when you died on a day in the spring and the dirt pulled you under but it prickled me under my skin in the future we'll be floating, lost in space I will not remember the features of your face or how we lost our paths and fell away into the ground we'll be floating, lost in space I will not remember the features of your face or how we lost our paths and fell away into the ground we'll be floating, lost in space I will not remember the features of your face or how we lost our paths and fell away into the ground
8.
If you are healing now If you have no more buddies left in your life If you see clearly now but close your eyelids and nothing comes to mind If you are brighter now I wish that you would write to me right now and tell me now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine My buddy left this year Without his glasses or his wallet or his keys I know he's building now I hope he's living and he thinks of me and sees a little brighter now When he decides to call his parents finally he tells them now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine ooooohhhhhh If I am satisfied If we are eighty and we still lay side by side and if I see bright and know that I tried I know I won't die scared of dying I know I won't die scared of dying What if I appear without tears in my eyes? Truth stumbles out of beers, twenty years of your life and what if the aching isn't broken enough? and now that I am living have I spoke it enough? It's me that delivers when I turn you to statue Oliver, can you burn with the match you - strike and do you really have the right to freeze in the middle when the spring is in sight? now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine now that I've had time to think I wanna see bright, be fine arms wide, eyes wide arms wide, eyes wide see bright, be fine see bright, be fine
9.
Sacred Heart 03:34
As soft as breathing in the middle of the night A lack of bleeding as the cut breaks open wide I know this movement is the bricks of what we are I find it soothing to be dying like a star When we get drunk I always tell you how I'm tired How when we speak it's like I'm spoiling someone's child A little candy and a different bedtime A little wisdom from the mouth of someone dying My hands shake, shivers down my spine To see your eyes wide I want you to never leave this car It's my smallest part in the sacred heart A kiss for new years and we're shouting all we love (i'm seeping slow) I feel the same as you until we see the sun (into the ground) I wish we'd fall asleep and never breath again (to be a part) I wanna tell you that I love you more than speaking can mend (of the sacred heart) (I used to be just like you are, separated now we are burning, burning stars) My hands shake, shivers down my spine To see your eyes wide I want you to never leave this car It's my smallest part in the sacred heart I'd say, you can come inside please be all mine I want just to freeze you where you are And make you part of the sacred heart of the sacred heart of the sacred heart of the sacred heart of the sacred secret
10.
I like the sound when the doors close Hello morning, it's time to go I've spent so much time bleeding I forgot to shave my beard It shows you how long I've been here Here's your birthday card i love you so much I pray to god that he chains you up we sing words that have no meaning but feel twice as nice to hear they show you how far i've come alone for the length of a cigarette the plastic kiss that we won't forget but if we never get off this highway then you'll never have to leave it shows you how red I bleed it shows you how far I've come it shows you how far I've come it shows you how far I've come
11.
Funny Things 03:17
You see that I'm naked, I see a pose These thoughts once were bitter but now stone Now that I've learned how to stand in my skin It's time I admitted this funny thing Do you look in the mirror and see a heart that bleeds such transparent, tepid blood? I want to hear you scream at me our chests have been pumping such funny things the endings of car rides, the swell of your face before you cry it's empty, unspoken this speaking of coming untied follow my footsteps I'll show you these pits of my mind I wish you would follow I wish that you were like I was blank as a white bedsheet thanks for your time, it helps me when I couldn't think to be anything other than held underwater for you to discover after I have AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH say something beautiful and just disappear or hate how you're living like everyone else here psalm for a sinking ship for the one little piece of it that floats on the water when the rest has gone under
12.
Cease to Be 04:46
you look at her once and you'll know completely she is the way that you thought she'd be something like clarity that I seek out to look in the mirror and cease to be to live in the saying that lasts your whole life or maybe in waiting to kill this dream sometimes so scary that we just freak out to look in the mirror and not see anything at all forget you are human for just a minute forget you not ethereal like a miracle, like a miracle, like miracle see me so boldly with eyes just weeping? (so you can) see what I'm like when I'm fast asleep? restfully lifeless or reckless leaping see when I'm moving so slow or can't see anything at all forget you are human for just a minute forget you are not ethereal broken, cynical lost and fearing-all dark in the hall like a miracle, like a miracle no suicide can bring you dying so hard as you'd find just by being alive

about

Blue Breath was recorded in five bedrooms across long distances. Thanks especially to Gabby, Felix & Henry. Thanks to Jack and Emily for looking this over in delicate stages - you keep your chin up and it inspires me to do the same. Mastered by Marc McElroy at The Cave (Portsmouth, NH). Mixed by Oliver Kalb and Gabrielle Smith.

credits

released April 11, 2014

Oliver Kalb, Gabrielle Smith, Felix Walworth, Henry Crawford, Emily Sprague, Jack Greenleaf.

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about

Bellows Brooklyn, New York

Bellows is the bedroom recording project of songwriter and producer Oliver Kalb.

booking:
ghorbal@apa-agency.com

press:
will@topshelfrecords.com

other questions / my actual email: bellows.mail@gmail.com
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