more from
Topshelf Records
We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Next of Kin

by Bellows

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    The latest magnificent offering from Bellows, on a green cassette.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Next of Kin via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 200  37 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Next of Kin, on an illustrated compact disc.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Next of Kin via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    First Press! Limited to 150 copies // expected to ship mid-April 2022

    "As Green As Possible" Vinyl: manufactured with recycled, recyclable, and biodegradable materials, and green energy.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Next of Kin via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 150  21 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $22 USD or more 

     

1.
To the face in the mirror I say “nice to meet you” Yeah, it’s a been a long time since I’ve seen you around I was digging my love out of a hole in the ground he fell into When I come home I cannot be sure my body Is the same one I had in the morning I’m kicking my feet up one at a time underwater Oh, wherever you’d go I’d have followed Wherever your marijuana grows Losing each part of the friend I’d known I’d still love you when you’re not you Oh, wherever you’d go I’d have followed Wherever your marijuana grows Changing in shape, ever-ending though I won't see you til we leave this world
2.
No one wants to be without a No one wants to be without a No one wants to be without a person to love Lost in this illusion of the truth, you Thought it had something to do with you Or the bitter night sky When you don’t come back In the darkness there is something close to evidence Memory, stay where you were Walk it back down, can’t have you staying around I was on a version of a journey I was doing When I came upon a version of a person like you She was somehow blurry, as if moving in a hurry But it couldn’t be mistaken, she looked something like you Lost in this illusion like a bad dream I forgot to keep myself a version of me In a Hannaford aisle Where you turn to me In the supermarket I remember constantly And the cruel old sun When it rose that day When I realized you had truly finally gone into a Memory, stay where you were Walk it back down, can’t have you staying around I couldn’t deal by myself Cannot calm down whenever you come around Talking to you, my best friend Turning your head whenever I reach for your hand Memory stay where you were Walk it back down, whenever you come around Memory stay where you were Walk it back down, whenever you come around
3.
Trinkets on string that you’d tied to a twig Still hanging on the wall of our house, couldn’t really figure it out Why would you leave just that one little piece? Better it’s now I let you know Better it’s now I let you know Sometimes I’d feel there’s a secret you keep Like you never thought I would notice Never thought I would notice Comes up in pauses in sentences, raw Better it’s now I let you know Better it’s now I let you know No matter the need, or the distance between us --Thought you would find me speechless and writhing?-- I’d say it’s all good cuz you know that I would Do anything to defend my best friend Do anything to defend my best friend Nippin’ at toes on the gravelly road Gotta watch out for ticks, ya know Gotta check Frankie’s paws at home In passing reminders I grasp at our life Better it’s now we keep it quiet, but I can’t let go Better it’s now we keep it quiet, but I can’t let go No matter the need — I couldn’t burn down this house alone No leaf in the breeze — I couldn’t sweep my own floor alone Not sick with disease — I couldn’t tend to myself in bed Not any of these: No matter the need, or the distance between us --Thought you would find me speechless and writhing?-- --Thought I would cave?-- --Thought I’d wither and rage?-- --That I’d rot and decay?-- It’s been always this way: I would do anything to defend you, my friend Do anything to defend you, my friend
4.
Rancher’s pride, how the rest of us deal with our lives I was up heating my cattle prod, branding my cows in the night Each one marked, the little ones squeal when I walk The bigger ones plaintively take my heat, eating up grass as I leave East road line, where the country meets the sky Tops of the cedars and stars collide Bleed into one in the sky Country pride, the things I would do for my wife I see through the window her car pull out She’s coming back home in a while She’s my friend, yeah the word gets around Out in the country our fingers grasp Meeting our own in the grass
5.
Like leaves in autumn he suddenly fades after bright life blaze Instead of falling he clings to the twigs Slow rain, storm’s end Forever after, remembering life away, I say: I’m not its master, I give up the fight, I want no claim I still remember my dog’s howl Still feel like a child when I’m in this house Though I get older I hold less and less Still feel like a child, like I’m innocent Greens change to orange in autumn, they see nothing changing at all It’s 7UP and the smell of the frozen fries you made And Anne’s excited, she’s taking the bus downtown with me I’d never tell her before she upped and went away How I loved the autumns we’d meet in the park And talk about how it’s strange life goes on when we leave I still remember the books that you left Still feel like a child when I’m in this house Though I get older I hold it less Turned away from suffering of innocents I still remember when Loubie died, felt just like a child when I cried I couldn’t face it, the blow was too hard My parents had him buried in the yard Plants grow light leaves in the springtime They cling to the body below
6.
And we looked so ugly And the stupid skyline How it towered over Brought a thought to my mind Did you want to get really far? Yeah, you wanted to make a mark But you had to stop And I felt so precious Like a pearl necklace Wanna give you something But the gift was in this: My friend did not want a pearl She wanted for me to turn around and for me to just stop Take a chance and stop Take a chance and break, take a chance and stop Take a chance and break with what little you got Take a chance and break, take a chance and stop Take a chance and break with what little you got With what little you got At McNally Jackson At the coffee parlor The aloof barista that I tipped a fiver Said you’d be five minutes late And then when you never came Said your train had got stuck In a Soho bathroom, burning out my tears there Brought me back to High School when we brought six-packs here You’d text me and we’d skip school And 1st and Houston our love had grew Til it just stopped Til it just breaks Til it just breaks, til it just stops Til it just breaks with what little had stuck Til it just breaks, til it just stops Til it just breaks with what little had stuck With what little had stuck My friend did not want a pearl My friend did not want a pearl Take a chance and stop Take a chance and stop Take a chance and break, take a chance and stop Take a chance and break with what little you got Take a chance and break, take a chance and stop Take a chance and break with what little you got With what little you got
7.
I can’t imagine not being your friend Not sitting on your patio ever again Was it selfish or just having foresight? When you said “I need to get away from here, pack up my whole life” Who are these people? Who are these people I know? Living up the block from here, each one alone Hoping that somebody’s home I couldn’t tell from the things you said Cuz you kept it really close to you, such a secret Who are these people? Who are these people I know? Living up the block from here, each one alone Hoping that somebody’s home I was hoping that somebody’s home Hoping that somebody’s home I was hoping that somebody’s home
8.
Gleaming white quartz Buried deep beneath the mountain Can you feel its force? Shift away, then toward If you listen close You can feel its slow ascension In an Asheville store Where your band had toured 2013 The first Florist / Told Slant tour In an Asheville downtown kava bar, the barista had told you “Asheville is built on a quartz deposit, lies Biggest deposit of white quartz” Barista said to you solemnly that night “The quartz had activated,” she warned “Ladies Night at the Kava Bar” — Emily thought that was funny But we were two weeks into tour that day So you went just with you three Susannah and you and Emily hit that, the Ladies Night at the Kava Bar And when you left you had told us all brightly What she had said to you about the quartz 2016 Bellows’ Fist & Palm tour At The Bat Cave in Arcata we watched the election results turn I left the show and I cried that night with my dad on the phone In the night sky, thought I heard drones overhead Demon horn blasts I repositioned the knife in my back But misfortune just kept happening One after another Lost one friend to fentanyl One in San Francisco on a skateboard Until in things like the La La Land mixup, watching the ‘17 Oscars Or in the Patriots / Falcons game comeback I started thinking about the quartz People who believe in things Like that crystals perform charms Believe that you can activate a quartz and can do harm She said that people behave a bit strangely, in ways you never predicted So try applying geology to that, tectonics shifting and things of that sort As if a whole paradigm had just shifted the whole earth The whole axis on which actions build On all people and their works So what if somewhere an answer for this lies in this deposit of white quartz? That something shifted so deep in the planet Things will be fucked up forever more
9.
96th Street and Lex as the sun begins to rise It’s a long way home, but I do not mind Sun is peeking past the pond and the trees of Central Park In the restlessness of the morning mist Met Museum day, it’s a memory linked to you In a deep down part of my brain, it’s true The love we formed in those halls, it’s still there in the armor room 16 with you, I guess we both knew You cannot go on the path you’re on, you cannot You cannot go You cannot go on the path you’re on, you cannot You cannot go There is this notion of me Beside a seat on a park bench I feel your absence there Yeah it lingers in the air Losing love, lost a friend, lost the person I was with you And I mourn its loss every time I cross this street But I could not go on the path we trod, I could not I could not go And I cannot go on the path I’m on, I cannot I cannot go Now that I’m older I have known time collapsing and time misleading The space between our lives gets broad Wider, wider, wider, wider None the wiser, I know I know nothing nothing nothing nothing Except: You cannot go on the path you’re on, you cannot You cannot go
10.
Beautiful Spring Day with a morning glory Beautiful pattern of blossoms upon the tree I couldn’t tell if it matters or not Being alone and so angry I lost Beautiful love Kept as a secret the depth of my loss of selfhood Kept as a secret the depth that I sunk at sea I couldn’t keep holding breath for so long Knowing how it feels to push head above water Beautiful sky Beautiful Spring Day with a morning glory Deeper than anger the wanting I keep inside I couldn’t tell if it matters or not Believing your absence a treasure I lost Beautiful loss Beautiful loss Beautiful loss
11.
In a Ballet 02:48
There was a crispness in the air that night Street lights leaking through the window Like as a child getting off a plane Strange sense of newness to the family place You cross the room like you’re in a ballet Took my hand, it’s nice to meet you I hold this strangeness in my memory Abstract bodies, did we kiss that day? There was some evil in the dressing room Hummus, IPA, band stickers A sense of threat was in the air that day So much baggage between the band mates A little anger as we crossed the stage Did dontuomo on the family It’s not so simple, chosen family Each one bringing some new shit to play To meet there in a ballet To meet there in a ballet Where we dance away To meet there in a ballet To meet To meet there in a ballet To meet there in a ballet Where we dance away
12.
Admiration 02:21
When it was just you and me I never had a problem Knew your sense of beauty and bathed in all you offered Admiration Paint a picture blue and green and you can be my love Trapped in the background, smiling down Every other one I meet has never quite come near it I’m looking for admiring so deep in one another Admiration Paint a picture blue and green and you can be my love Trapped in the background, smiling down Admiration Paint a picture blue and green and you can be my love
13.
Lost track of time in a grocery line The checkout kid looks at his phone and smiles He says I used to smoke weed, it helped with my sleep But now I don't like how it makes me feel A friend that we knew asks what happened to you I said there wasn't a thing then that I could do I wish her the best, wherever she is Sometimes I race through the park like I lost my kids Hey! Nobody knew No one relates on the streets you're passing Hey! Nobody knew Nobody there on the streets with you At a boulangerie on the Upper West Side Approaching the glass like it'd been no time I wanna be mad, wanna curse you and howl But I lose all my words at the touch of your hand I say: hey, hey, hey, hey Hey! Nobody new Wandering out in the world could match it Hey — when my life is all through The closest I'd get to a human was you When your band was my band And your dog was my dog Your paintings and your guitar were there, hanging on my wall And your room was my room Your t-shirts and your clothes Your records and the big mattress and the toothpaste and the soap And your pain was my pain, every enemy you made Every fight that I backed you up, the friendships we'd both break Cuz your love was my love, the only kind that I could show You yourself had first shown to me, 18 and hollow I was 18 with no self Empty, just a shell A vacant body for you to fill up with your own self With you-ness that piled up, until I had forgot That you were who I had made myself, buried down so much Cuz you were who I was Your dog was my dog Yours was all of the pain I felt when your life fell apart And I miss my best friend But mostly the person neither of us can be again And I'll miss our two absences
14.
Baby you can come inside me, don’t try to fight it Baby are you here beside me, or just a puff of smoke? Veil of seaweed blackening the gulf Are you good to drive home? I had spent so long in a daydream that you were not familiar Stranger than a seaweed algae washed on the shore Botticelli’s Venus painting You emerge like smoke Smoke in nighttime, sirens outside Violence in my soul The apartment where this started Gone into the hole — where another family lives! Meet you at a Soho apartment, get off at Spring Street It hits me as a deep down memory, a sense response Of a Penn State thrift store, Mom bought me a toy Millenium Falcon Kept that memory deep within me Never told a soul When I kissed you something came through Back from long ago Our whole love was in that thrift store In that reaching back Animal instinct, deepest in me, the hidden things I know Kept inside a place within me Where the armor falls and then I am weak To the Venus Painting, Botticelli Kept inside, deep inside me Where the Venus Painting, Botticelli burns

about

There is an immediate and palpable sense of joy that jumps out from Next of Kin, the fifth full-length album from bedroom recording project Bellows. But the record is steeped equally in loss: loss of family, beloved dogs, friendships, romantic love, and most of all loss of selfhood. Backwardly inspired by the wealth of loss, Next of Kin sees songwriter Oliver Kalb discovering a renewed sense of appreciation for life in the face of hardship, freshly emboldened to move through the world with a loosened grip on life: “I’m not its master, I give up the fight, I want no claim”, Kalb writes in “Death of Dog”.

While foundationally a rock album, Next of Kin has a magical iridescence. Oscillating and shifting dramatically between sounds and genres over its fourteen song tracklist, the album glistens with sheens of alt-country, pristine pop production, and richly layered rock maximalism. The first Bellows album to feature a constant full-band presence bolstering Kalb’s home recordings, the album channels the immediacy and intensity of the band’s live performances. Songs like “McNally Jackson” and “Dawn at Central Park” marry Kalb’s penchant for contemplative, almost literary narration with lavish, kinetic composition. But it’s Next of Kin’s climax “Thumb in the Dam” that is the album’s thematic centerpiece: as Kalb realizes he’s lost a sense of his own selfhood in a deeply enmeshed romance, crossing and confusing identities with a lost love, the album ends with a recognition of identity as perpetually in flux, with change itself being the only constant force.

credits

released March 23, 2022

All music and lyrics by Oliver Kalb
Recorded, Engineered, produced and mixed by Oliver Kalb, Jack Greenleaf, Frank Meadows and Ian Cory
See individual tracks for full credits

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bellows Brooklyn, New York

Bellows is the bedroom recording project of songwriter and producer Oliver Kalb.

booking / emailing me : bellows.mail@gmail.com

press:
will@topshelfrecords.com

contact / help

Contact Bellows

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Bellows recommends:

If you like Bellows, you may also like: